I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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