his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
