Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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