He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
