You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
