I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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