I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
