Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
