I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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