Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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