And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
