grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
