Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
