My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
