I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
