I wanna bring you to show and tell
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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