Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
