I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
