Ambien. No doubt about it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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