sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
