woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
3pm strippers are depressing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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