Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
