we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize