Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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