considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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