I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
