My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
