sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
