So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
