I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
