I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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