Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
