I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
