He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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