Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
