dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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