Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
