grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
