um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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