first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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