Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
