i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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