Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
