Moan for me like Helen Keller
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
