Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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