he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
