yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
