Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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