South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
