Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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