So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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