matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
