with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
