The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
