so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
