I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
