We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
