Your dad touched me again.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
They have beer where we have blood.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
