I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
