Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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