I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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