it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
