Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
