why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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