Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
