Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
